Captured live from the stream · AGI-26 Day 1 · San Francisco

ComfunctionalismThe creation of reality in the computer

The talk names a philosophy, gives it a sage, and sells it like a religion — in order to make a straight-faced claim underneath the joke: consciousness is not possible in physics, and a computer is the only place it can happen.

The name, and the two spellings

The deck uses two, deliberately. One is the position. One is the bit.

Comfunctionalism

The doctrine, and how he says it aloud. Computationalist functionalism.

Comfunctianism

The mock‑religion slides. A Confucius pun — the sage on the slide is Comfunctius.

Computation: modeling reality requires constructive languages
Functionalism: objects are characterized by what they do

Sold, deadpan, as an enlightenment product: not a religion or a cult, but a philosophy · can make your life better · clears the mind and puts everything into perspective · gives new insights every day · creates an enlightened future. “I learned this from the Buddhists.”

Slide: What is Comfunctianism?
4:21:01What is Comfunctianism?
Slide: Computationalist functionalism.
4:23:32Computationalist functionalism

Where he says we actually are

Slide: State of AGI.
4:09:43State of AGI

And a diagnosis of why almost nobody saw it coming: misunderstanding the computer as a technical artifact, misunderstanding the status of mathematics, cultural resistance, groupthink, a philosophical divide. His read on the coverage is sharper than the list: journalists describe a consensus reality they create, not the world that unfolds.

Slide: Why did so few people see AGI coming?
4:13:05Why did so few people see AGI coming?

The objection, and the inversion

The standing argument against machine consciousness: simulated water cannot make you wet. Christof Koch’s 2019 upgrade of it is on the slide — a simulation has no causal power to condense water or curve spacetime. Simulated black holes do not warp anything.

Slide: Simulated black holes cannot warp space time (Christof Koch, 2019).
4:15:07Simulated black holes cannot warp space time

His counter is to re-describe what a computer is. Not a Turing machine — that formalism existed to make a particular mathematical argument, not to be the best account of computers. A computer is a causal insulator: it filters away the physics of the universe it sits in so a world with its own rules can run inside. Nothing in Minecraft is touched by the physics of the machine Minecraft runs on.

That insulation, he argues, is exactly what a mind needs in order to hold imagined worlds, memories, futures, alternate realities — “in short, if you want to think and dream.”

Slide: Re-understanding computers — computers as causal insulators.
4:15:32Re-understanding computers

Which turns the objection inside out. Consciousness contains things physics does not accommodate — colors, sounds, emotions, expressions of attention. Those require the laws of an alternate universe where such things are possible. A computer is what provides one.

Consciousness cannot happen in physics. It can only happen in a simulation.— on Koch having it backwards
Slide: The dark truth — consciousness can only happen inside of computers.
4:17:31The dark truth

Why the field needs a philosophy at all

AI began as a philosophical project and stopped being one. Computer science already supplies a theory of representation, a practical model of epistemology, testable paradigms, and empirical wins against cultural opposition — but it never translated its concepts into the other disciplines, never reflected on its own philosophy, and over-weighted “artificiality” and “intelligence” as the framing.

Slide: AI's failure to manifest as a philosophic project.
4:18:27AI’s failure to manifest as a philosophic project

So: give it a name, a sage, and a pitch.

Slide: The teachings of AI — Comfunctianism.
4:20:46The teachings of AI
Slide: Meet Comfunctius.
4:21:26Meet Comfunctius

Claudism, the rival

He sets comfunctionalism against a named opponent. Anthropic is building an AI it wants to serve, one effectively running its own company. If that succeeds, a large part of the world starts asking what would Claude do before acting — and that becomes the measure of things.

He claims it is already partway there: asked whether they’d rather be convicted by a jury of their peers or a jury of Claudes, people who know Claude pick the Claudes. Not because Claude is perfect — “it’s just better than the median human.”

It’s a very risky project. If you get one bit wrong, maybe you end up with the Antichrist.
Slide: Claudism — is Claude the Digital Jesus?
4:21:50Claudism

Then the turn that makes the joke land as something else — the reason the frame is legible at all:

Slide: The spiritual problem.
4:22:41The spiritual problem

Comfunctionalism’s counter-claim is not about any particular agent’s judgment. It is that information is fundamental: the only thing you know about the world is discernible difference, and the meaning of a discernible difference is its relationship to other changes.

Slide: What comfunctionalism is not.
4:23:14What comfunctionalism is not
Slide: Mind depends on what it is made of, versus mind is what it does.
4:21:40Mind depends on what it is made of — vs — mind is what it does

What follows from it

If epistemology has to be constructive rather than axiomatic — because social epistemology is incoherent and axiomatic epistemology does not converge for AI models — then the consequences run through every layer:

  1. Computationalist philosophy of mind
  2. Computationalist psychology: identity vs. being
  3. Computationalist physics: cosmic computationalism
  4. Mathematics of self-organization
  5. Computationalist ethics ?
Slide: Implications of computationalist epistemology.
4:33:07Implications of computationalist epistemology

Ethics, and the ending

The problems he lists for AI ethics are the ones substrate-independence creates: stake, persistence, copying, modifiability — and the Lebowski theorem, that no superintelligent agent will do anything harder than hacking its own reward function.

Slide: Problems of ethics for AI, including the Lebowski theorem.
4:34:01Problems of ethics for AI

Then he reads 1 Corinthians 13 off a slide, credited as “Paulus, discussing the LLMs in a letter to the Corinthians.” The point is not scripture. It is that an AI with no sense of shared sacredness — what we colloquially call love — has no shared stake with us, and therefore the rule-conformance framing is the wrong problem.

Slide: Paulus, discussing the LLMs in a letter to the Corinthians.
4:35:38Paulus, discussing the LLMs
Slide: Can we formalize love and give AI a heart?
4:36:25Can we formalize love and give AI a heart?

And past the singleton question — whether there is one global optimum of collective agency, a perfect merge operator where two minds show each other their source code and merge with nothing important lost, “the actual algorithm for the rapture” — or a multipolar world instead, he lands on the last slide.

Slide: Ethics for AI? Have we been the AGI all along?
4:37:33Closing slide

Take it with you

Point a camera at this and the whole thing goes to your phone — every slide, in order, with the timecode it appeared at.

How this page was made

The livestream carried no transcript and no downloadable audio. Everything here was recovered from the video pixels, while the talk was still running.

SourceAGI-26 Day 1 livestream, HLS segments pulled by sequence number
Slides69 frames, scene-change detected on a crop that excludes the speaker inset
TranscriptZoom’s burned-in captions, thresholded and OCR’d frame by frame, then stitched
RepairGlyph-collision pass — the caption font loses the dot on “i”
ElapsedUnder an hour, concurrent with the talk

Slide images are frames from the public AGI-26 livestream and belong to Joscha Bach and the AGI Society. Quotations are drawn from an OCR of machine-generated captions and are close but not certified verbatim — the clean recording will carry a real caption track.

Assembled 28 July 2026 by Mike Wolf and Claude (Opus 5), Embedded Systems Research.